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Archive for March, 2012

Dear Brandon

You are six and a half
And one of these days
You won’t use all the same expressions
That make your little boy speech
So very charming and perfectly you
So I thought a list might be in order
Of some of the best things you say
Everyday lately
And the ways in which
You are very much yourself
At six and a half
You say “thee” when you mean “they”
Quaint mispronunciation, Quaker-like
You use one hundred to mean a whole lot
As in “I love you one hundred”
And you put very in front of verbs
As in “I very love you”
Sometimes you call me Bridget
And sometimes you call me EmMa
Which is short for Extra Mommy
I don’t know whether that will stick
But I like that you are working to figure out
Who you and I are are to each other
And that you seem to get why
I don’t really want to be called Stepmom
You pronounce Rapunzel like this:
Re-punzel
You also like to dress up like that
Fair haired maiden, in my purple dress
And wield a frying pan against
Imaginary foes
You like to put random letters together
And ask us what they spell
Even though you can read well enough
To be pretty sure they don’t spell anything
You love to be asked questions
And sometimes your answers are so funny
It’s hard to find another question
The other day, you told me your friend Antonio
Was the most successful person you know
And then you explained that successful
Means “Having the most red days at school”
But you followed that up with telling me
That I am the kindest person you know
I didn’t dare ask what you think kind means
I love you at six-and-a-half, little man
And I can’t wait to see what seven looks like

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“She couldn’t understand it. Was she simply too shallow to suffer indefinitely, or was she too wise to become attached to her suffering, too feisty to permit it to rule her life? She voted for wise and feisty, and walked on, kicking leaves.” Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All

Someday, he really will become
Someone you once knew
A familiar, happy memory
Even a source of mild amusement
At how poorly he matched up
With all you want in your life
And more, with what you really need
Despite his charming smile
And the way he seemed to understand you

Someday, you will look back gratefully
At the girl you are today
At how she squared her shoulders
And dried her eyes
At how she decided to keep going
To keep becoming
Her very best self
Despite his failure to understand
How beautiful that best self would be

Someday, you will know
Deep down in the most real parts of you
Exactly why it was
He moved on from your life
And what his absence made room for
As you grow and change
As you find new friends
As you make new memories
And learn who you are without him

Someday, sooner than you think
When you least expect it
And from a place you wouldn’t have thought to look
There will be another, truer love
One who does understand
How valuable you are
How beautiful you are
How you should be treasured
And this he, the cause of your current suffering

Will have finally become
Someone you once knew

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This really should rhyme
And trip rhythmically on in
Tetrameter like your most beloved
Books did
But your talent so far outshines
Anything I could write
I won’t even try
I have always loved your stories
For their clever word play
And their beautiful whimsical images
But most of all
For their magnetic ability
To draw a child onto my lap
To gather small humans around me on the couch
Snuggled in tight
To hear Horton and Yertle
And Bartholomew
And Gertrude and Mayzie
And the Lorax
For their magical power to persuade those same kids
To read out loud to me
One Fish, Two Fish
And the Cat in the Hat
(Twice – he always comes back)
and Hop on Pop
I love that my family name appears in
Two books – Oh Say Can You Say
And You’re Only Old Once
Blinn, after all, is easy to read
And rhymes with all sorts of things
Your books gave me some of my very first bonding moments
With my small stepson
I think you would have liked knowing that
And so to honor your memory
And our family fondness for all things Seuss
We instituted a family tradition
On your 108th birthday
We ate green eggs and ham for dinner
We baked cupcakes with Cat Hats on them
We had blue jello cups with red fish jumping out
We played games based on your books
And then we took turns reading our favorite ones
Happy 108th Dr Seuss!

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Dear Tiny Baby

We get emails every week
Telling us about what you’re up to
Last week, you were the size of a grape
And growing tooth buds
This week, you are the size of kumquat
And you have managed to grow joints
So that your little hands meet over your heart
We are so very excited to meet you
To find out who you are
Your daddy and big brother and me
And your grandmas and grandpas
And aunts and uncles (you have SO many of those)
And great grandmas and great grandpa
And great aunts and uncles
And almost countless cousins of various removals and degrees
You come from sizeable clans
Clans who love babies and togetherness
Each member expecting his or her turn to hold you
To admire you
And claim you look like them
(They would name you too, if we let them
But we won’t)
It is hard to wait patiently
To see who you are
To count your fingers and toes
To content ourselves
With fuzzy black and white images
Of your little arm waving next to your head
And, of course, the emails
Helping us count down the days and weeks and months
Until you are finally here
We love you so very much already
Love from your mama

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