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Archive for February, 2009

Ashes and Dust

Everything in us was dead
Dry and scattered
Empty powder
Formless — Until
You reached down
Gathered clay together
Breathed in deep
Exhaled living spirit
We breathed You in
And life began
A constant cycle
Your exhale
Our inhale
Utterly unaware of how we were
Completely dependent on You
In Your seeming absence
And we exhaled living spirit for the last time
We attempted breath in a vacuum
Seeking sustenance apart
Our lungs struggled to pull oxygen
From emptiness
Again returned to clay
The rhythm broken
We were dust
To dust we returned
We were ashes
To ashes we returned
Slowly disintegrating
Apart from Your spirit breath

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I am scanning the horizon
For the ship’s mast to crest
Or the plane to appear as a tiny speck

I am listening, ears straining
For the sound of a footfall
Or hoofbeats coming from afar

When I breathe in, I search
For the faintest whiff of scent
Floating on the breeze

I look in light and shadow
Glancing over my shoulder
Searching for signs in grass and leaves

In looking, I assume both
That I know how and where You’re coming from
And that you are not already here

Often missing where You are
Because I am looking where You’re not

Wasting time searching for You
When You’ve already appeared

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Disconnect

From my deepest well
I draw words that drip
With devotion and encouragement
I pour them for you in a goblet
Chosen for its beauty
And I present it with
Ceremony showcasing
My love for you

You smile and settle down
To sit beside me as I move through
The little daily chores
That steal the hours away
You touch my shoulder
Put your arms around my waist
But when you go away again
No tangible reminder
Of your love remains

Only the goblet you drained
And the lingering memory of your presence

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Something New

Once, waiting for you
Was like waiting for a trip to Paris
For which I had not yet started saving
Hazy pictures of the Eiffel Tower
And wine with baguettes and cheese for lunch
More like a scene from a movie than
Even from tourist books
Because I had not even really begun to plan the trip

Lately, you seem nearer
Like waiting for Christmas after Thanksgiving
Knowing that the day will come
Regardless of whether I plan or prepare
So making time for the tasks
Baking and buying presents
Decorating the house
Humming carols in the grocery store

Somehow your arrival feels concrete
Like a plan is in place
And set in motion
Such an odd sensation
This feeling of anticipation
Because it is not my plan
I have no idea how or when you’ll actually
Arrive in my life

But I am excited to recognize you
And I hope that when you do appear
You’ll find my heart open and ready
To pour out all the best affirmation and affection
Calling forth the best in each other
Looking together to the One
Who planned for our future
Before we were even born

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we will watch the stories
of those who found
one to cling to
one to walk beside
one to have and hold
there will be food and wine
there will be compansionship
there will be laughter
we will feel a twinge
a wishing
for the clock to turn faster
for the time to come
for our turn to arrive
but we will not be alone

we will be together
anticipating rejoicing
when our own stories
surpass those on the screen
when our hearts
healed and whole
strong and full
ready and willing
find love to cling to
love to walk beside
love to have and hold
we will daydream for ourselves
we will hope for each other

and in the meantime
in the now and not yet
we will know
that we are beloved of heaven
our hunger for human love
will not surpass
will not overwhelm
will not drown out
the redeeming
abundant
resplendent
healing
faithful
strong and true

Love of the One
who already holds us
safely in His arms
the One who never leaves
the One who never lets go
the One who gave everything
to make a way
to be with us forever
we will see ourselves
reflected in His eyes
perfectly loved
entirely accepted
wholly desired
transformed by His presence

and so we will find joy
in the echoes of that Story
in the ones on the screen
we will laugh and cry
we will allow our hearts
to feel longing
to recognize wishing
a moment of wanting
but then we will look up
we will look ahead
we will wait
for His plan
for His provision
for His perfect timing

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Disciplines

In the absence of the unnecessary
Substance sustains
Superfluous nothingness falls away
Revealing strength
Building resolution
Guiding from grace to grace
In emptiness somehow
Abundance flows into even small spaces
Expanding the tiniest crevices
Emptying out
Sweeping away
Sufficiency swells and expands
Harmonies rise
Their timbre resounds
With hope
And life
And peace

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One for Megan

conversing with a friend
we find
space to explore
old stories
for new truths
current realities
for fresh perspective
impending dreams
for concrete action

we realize
we are not
alone
we are not
the only one
we are not
isolated

over a glass of wine
words swirl around
feelings and fairy-tales

we tell
of dragons slain
and those yet to be found
we yearn
for white knights
and rebel at our need for rescue

eyes become mirrors
inviting self-examination
reflecting an image of ourselves
unique
and ripe for examination

our stories intertwine in the telling
and our hearts weave themselves together
reveling in knowing
and being known

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